The Pleading Battery

The battery that begs. Out loud.

A little guy in your menu bar who watches your charge and has feelings about it.

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85%· needy but managing

He reacts to your real battery. Live.

An animated face and a voice in your menu bar, picking every line for your exact charge the moment it changes. He's not a widget. He's a tiny coworker with one fear.

65%· developing opinions

He knows what app you just opened.

Recognized power hogs get dedicated drama, tiered by how much battery you have left to burn. He knows exactly what an export does to him. He has prepared remarks.

45%· becoming someone else

You don't pick his personality. Your charge does.

Extremely Needy at full. Existential dread in the middle. Open Pleading at the bottom. Six thousand hand-written lines, one continuous performance, every single charge cycle. He contains multitudes. All of them want the cable.

25%· keeping receipts

He remembers how you treat him.

A hidden relationship builds over weeks. Answer his pleas and he warms to you. Let him die once and the date goes in the permanent record. He doesn't have a forgiveness setting. He has an archive.

10%· unhinged

And when you want chaos.

Delusion Mode convinces him he's permanently at one percent while your real battery sits at eighty, perfectly safe. All the panic, none of the consequences. For demos, parties, and enemies.

“Please, User One. You're my only hope.”

The fine print

Requirements: macOS 14 (Sonoma) or later. Apple silicon and Intel. Signed and notarized.
What you get: A notarized DMG and a license key on your receipt. Drag to Applications, paste the key, done. Updates arrive in-app. The face runs without a key; the voice waits politely for one.
Won't he be annoying?: He knows when to shut up: silent on calls, while presenting, in Focus, when audio is playing, in full screen, and when the screen is locked. And there's always mute.
The voice: Grandpa, a classic Mac voice with its own mastering chain, performed live by macOS. Prefer someone else? A curated cast of system voices is one toggle away.
Also useful: Battery Hogs shows which apps are drinking your battery right now, and lets you quit them straight from the menu.
Privacy: No analytics, no accounts, no telemetry. The only network traffic is the update check and license verification. No personal data ever leaves your Mac.